Hello , Eating is one of life’s most sensual and pleasurable activities. Yet, for many people, it’s fraught with guilt, shame, fear, and self-recrimination.
This is eating as a form of self-oppression.
Eating then becomes a forbidden act, often done on the sly, with no one looking. This in turns becomes an act of defiance - a big fyou to society and/or to the very part of the self that is trying to control the eating.
This results in a war in which the person must battle between their appetite and the rules and expectations they have in their mind – and the appetite usually wins, leading to more shame, guilt, restriction – and the cycle continues.
Sadly, when most people come to me, they have listened to so much conflicting diet advice and been on so many programs, they have no clue as to what they should be eating. They often want me to tell them what to eat but I won’t do that. I want them to give themselves permission to explore and experiment to find out what foods they actually like to eat.
This often fills them with fear but that’s ok. In order to get better, you have to step out of your comfort zone and that’s anxiety provoking. After doing this, my clients are surprised to find out that they don’t really enjoy a lot of the food they’ve been eating and now that they’re getting more enjoyment out of their meals, they don’t want big
treats like brownies after dinner. They’re surprised they can be satisfied with far less food.
As a
person who once had a binge eating and compulsive eating disorder, I set myself free when I made nothing off limits. I still eat this way today. I eat what I want, when I feel like it. If I want to eat pizza for breakfast, I eat pizza. I only eat when I’m hungry and stop when I’m satiated.
Most days, I eat
cottage cheese or yogurt with fruit for breakfast because I love it, but once in a while I’m bored and want something else, maybe pizza, a couple of cookies, or maybe leftover pasta from the night before. I allow myself to eat what I want without an ounce of guilt or self-recrimination.
I eat what I want but most of
the time, I also choose the foods that make me feel vibrant and alive. I don’t overly indulge in food that makes me feel bloated, foggy, tired, etc. Part of mindfulness is noticing how food makes you feel after you eat it. If it makes me feel bad, I stay away from it. Eating brings me pleasure, not pain.
Before I eat,
I ask myself what I’m in the mood for. I then eat accordingly. In the morning, I ask myself what sounds good to me for dinner that night, so that I can make sure I have time to thaw it out or have the ingredients handy. Once in a while, I change my mind by dinner time but that ok. I will usually have it the next day for lunch or dinner.
You get the picture. I’m not following any strict diet or health rules here. I do have my fridge, freezer and pantry stocked with healthy food options so that I can whip up a meal in about 20 minutes. I recommend everyone have at least 3-5 meals that they know how to prepare and have a printed shopping list for those and keep the ingredients stocked in the house, that way you always have things
to eat.
Eatingwell.com is a great place to find healthy recipes and meal plans for any type of person, even diabetics and gluten free folks.
Exercise:
Give yourself permission to spend a week asking yourself what sounds nourishing and appealing to you before you eat. Go to the store and look around and buy things that you feel would truly satisfy you.
When eating, notice the flavors, textures, and aromas. Ask yourself: “Are you truly enjoying this food?”
Give yourself permission to enjoy what you want to eat without guilt or
self-recrimination. Eat when hungry, stop when full.
How does that make you feel?
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