Hi ,
As a coach, I would say the one trait that most of my clients share in common is
perfectionism. Some people think being a perfectionist requires expectations of perfection in every area but it often shows up in just a few areas, including the area of food and weight. I too used to be a perfectionist. I now call myself a recovering perfectionist, as it only rears its ugly head on rare occasions.
I lost a lot of my life to perfectionism. It kept me paralyzed from
taking risks and trying new things which meant I didn’t grow and therefore move forward. It kept me stuck for years. I avoided new challenges like the plague or I would briefly try things (like diets), but soon quit them when I felt I couldn’t do them perfectly or master them quickly enough.
I stayed safe in my comfort zone by only doing things that I already knew I could
do. Because I compared myself against the yardstick of perfection, nothing I ever did was good enough, therefore I felt I wasn’t good enough either. Because of this, I never felt satisfied about the way I looked, or the talents I had, or anything I ever
accomplished.
Perfectionism destroys confidence and belief in yourself. If you feel you can’t measure up or you’re not going to be perfect or successful, you won't try very hard, and this is what happened to me.
I did the ultimate perfectionist cop out; I
stopped trying at all. I went clear to the other extreme and had no expectations of myself at all. If I didn’t expect anything out of myself, I certainly couldn’t fail myself, now could I?
This resulted in me spending some years in my 20’s wandering aimlessly, depressed, and overeating to fill in the gaps of all that I had
lost.
Do you see yourself in this cautionary tale?
Perfectionism can keep you fat, stuck, safe, and ultimately it can suck the very life out you. If left unchallenged and unchecked, it can result in an unlived life, or at least, a safe life that doesn’t change or challenge you much. It can also cost you money and time, as it can keep you from taking risks and growing in your career.
If you want to break free from the chains of perfectionism, the first thing you need to do is to give yourself permission to make mistakes and even fall flat on your face. You need to reframe how you view mistakes. Mistakes aren’t bad; they’re how you learn and grow.
Falling flat on your face is one of the best things that can happen to a perfectionist. I know, because I’ve done it many times. The reason it’s so wonderful is that you learn you can survive it; it’s not such a big deal after all. It then frees you up to take bigger risks and your life is only as big as the risks you’re willing to take.
Fear of making mistakes is all about ego and image. You’re trying to preserve an image of yourself as perfect or you have a fear of being judged, criticized, looking foolish, or worse yet, dumb.
When you can accept you’re human and fallible like everybody else, you become more humble and willing to put yourself out there and you don’t have to appear like you’ve got it all together. You can surrender fully to the process and that’s when life, weight loss, and any others changes become a heck of a lot more fun.
Andy Warhol used to say, “Sometimes people let the same problem make them miserable for years when they could just say, so what.” When you can fall on your face, get back up, and say, "So what", you’re well on your way to being a recovering perfectionist.
P. S. If you find some typos in this newsletter...well, so what!
In my upcoming coaching series, starting Wednesday, Sept. 18th, I address how to eliminate the perfectionism and black and white thinking around food and weight. Often, letting go of these 2 things allows people to finally get unstuck, move forward and find the success that has been eluding them! See below for program details!
Are you ready to drop pounds of perfectionism? Learn the art of self-care and mindful eating, and create a life that nurtures you.
Sign up and Receive 2 Private Coaching Sessions!
A $195 Value!
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Break Free from Overeating, Make Peace with Food, and Lose Weight Naturally!
- Are you obsessed with food, weight and dieting?
- Do you turn to food for emotional comfort? Do you eat when stressed?
- Are you putting off your happiness until you lose the weight?
- Have you lost weight only to gain it back and then some?
- Do you want to make peace with food and your body?
- Are you ready to get off the dieting roller coaster and achieve permanent weight loss?
- Are you tired of the dieting yo-yo cycle?
If you're like most people, you've probably tried willpower and dieting to lose weight. Unfortunately, for most people this is not enough. The reason willpower and diets fail is because most people overeat for emotional reasons. Emotional eating is a response to various environmental and emotional triggers. These triggers range from stress, exhaustion,
uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, procrastination, boredom, and a need for pleasure and comfort.
The How You do Food is How You do Life Emotional Eating Program is designed to get at the core
issues of what triggers overeating. It provides you with solid strategies to overcome the reasons why you turn to food. It teaches you how to identify what your true needs are and teaches you appropriate ways to meet them so that you won't be tempted to turn to food. This is the key to overcoming emotional eating.
The online 12 week program consists of 6 modules that will transform your relationship with food, get you off the dieting hamster wheel, teach you ways to deal with your stressful and sabotaging thoughts and emotions, teach you how to eat mindfully, and allow your body to lose weight naturally without dieting.
You will also learn how to set up a self-care routine that isn't time consuming so that you can start your day calm, centered, and nurtured. You will become more mindful and peaceful in all areas of your life because "how you do food is how you do life!"
So what does the phrase "How you do food is how you do life" mean?
People who eat overeat often don't realize that their issue with food and weight isn't the real problem. It's only a symptom - a symptom of how they are living their life. If your life is stressful, then you will turn to food to cope with that stress. If your life lacks pleasure and excitement, you will turn to food looking for pleasure and excitement. If you try to control and restrict your food, you will become obsessed with food and overeat. You eat how you are. When you're at peace with
yourself, you become at peace with food. How you do food is how you do life!
The How You do Food Is How You do Life – Weight Loss and Emotional Eating Group Coaching Program is starting on Wednesday, Sept. 18, 2019.
Telecalls will start at 6:00 PST/9:00 EST.
Can't make the calls, date or time?
No problem. The calls are recorded and emailed to you the next day along with the handouts and assignments.
If you can’t seem to lick your emotional eating habit on your own, and want to learn a non-diet, mindfulness-based approach to weight loss and overcoming emotional eating, then this group is for you.
This includes 2 private coaching sessions with me, a $195 value!
Space is limited as class size is kept small to provide personal attention.
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