Hi ,
Mother’s Day is coming an this got me thinking about mothering and the role mothers play with food and weight
issues. Our mother is our first role model and for many women, she is our teacher, for good or bad, about our attitudes towards our bodies, food and weight.
Food and weight issues can often be traced back through the generations and many women who come to me say that one of the primary motivating factors for
seeking healing is that they don’t want to pass their food and weight issues on to their daughters.
When working with clients, one of the questions I often ask is "Do you feel you got your needs met as a child?" The answer is often no. As a coach, I encounter many women (young and old) who are “unmothered.”
What I mean by that is due to a variety of factors, they had poor or inadequate mothering in childhood and this helped to set the stage for a lifetime of neglect, addiction, eating issues, and other dysfunction.
Now, please don’t get me wrong. Mothers do not cause and aren’t to blame for eating issues, addiction, etc.
There are many complex factors that play into it. So, you could have a great mother and still have an eating disorder, addiction, or weight issue. It’s just that poor mothering makes certain individuals more vulnerable to these issues.
Because they didn’t get their developmental and emotional needs met, unmothered
women are prone to be emotionally stuck at a certain stage of development. The sad truth is that many people get older but actually don’t grow up emotionally. This often leaves women with a sense that something is missing, or they don’t know who they are, or who they want to be when they grow up, even though they might be 55 or older. It’s because they lack a strong sense of self.
To gain a sense of self, as children, we need to mirrored and affirmed for our good qualities and to be seen as separate individuals. We also need lots of love, encouragement, affection, and good boundaries. In dysfunctional families, children are often seen as extensions of the parent. Instead of the parent meeting the child’s needs, the child is often expected to mirror and
meet the parent’s need for affirmation, love, attention, etc.
When this happens, children don’t develop a strong sense of self, which leads to living with a chronic sense of emptiness, or a sense of something missing, feeling lost, or not knowing who you are.
Children who have been emotionally neglected, tend to neglect themselves and re-enact this pattern throughout their lives.
This is also the perfect setup for looking for love and approval in all the wrong places, including food. Many women with this background become people pleasers in a frantic attempt to gain love and
approval. Because of this, they abandon themselves and after a while they have no idea who they are or even what they like.
This makes them very co-dependent. Years of excessive caretaking of others leaves them with no sense of self. Instead of developing a relationship with themselves, they often develop one with food.
Food becomes their lover, readily available, and makes no demands.
The developmental task for every woman is to become a strong, nurturing, loving mother to herself. In essence, to individuate or give birth to her true self as a separate individual. When she has done that, she has emotionally become an
adult.
Ultimately, this is what my deeper work with others is about – learning how to develop a strong, nurturing relationship with yourself. By learning to give yourself the attention you may never have gotten, you begin to birth yourself into existence. The good news is, no matter what your age, it’s never too late to
do so.
When this happens, it’s easy to leave food and weight issues behind you and because of that, get on with your true mission in life. And this often involves the ability to mother and mentor others in a positive
way.
Are you ready to learn the art of self-care, lose weight, and create a life that nurtures you?
You know I'm all about helping you create the life you love, while
loving the body you are in, which is why I said YES to participating in
my friend and colleague, Cecily Armstrong's online training called
THE SPIRITUAL WOMAN'S GUIDE TO RELEASING THE WEIGHT FOR GOOD.
Cecily has gathered 28 incredibly wise healers, doctors, coaches
business owners and authors, and we are all sharing some of our best
content with you! And it's FREE. We're letting you in on how we created
healthy and strong bodies, connected spiritual lives and how we sustain
them over time.
So if you want to learn how to:
* finally lose weight and keep it off
* feel connected to your intuition and never second guess a dietary
choice again
* have more energy and zest for life than you know what to do with
* feel peaceful, kind and loving with yourself
Then.... I hope you'll join me for this free virtual training. You can
grab your seat here.
I personally know a number of the other speakers, and I can tell you,
Cecily really has pulled together the best of the best for this series.
By the end of this training, you will be able to identify the one area
people rarely look for weight loss and connect with yourself on a deeper
level and know the next steps you need to take- even if you have
struggled in the past with your weight and energy in the past.
The Spiritual Woman's Guide to Releasing the Weight for Good
See you there!
Catherine
P.S. IF YOU'VE BEEN CRAVING A LIFE AND A BODY YOU LOVE, DO NOT
MISS OUT.
THE INTERVIEWS WILL BE UP FOR A LIMITED AMOUNT OF TIME,
SO GET ACCESS NOW!
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