Change is happening whether you acknowledge it or not. It’s better to learn to deal with it than to avoid it. Otherwise, one day you wake-up and realize life has passed you by.
~ Catherine L. Taylor
Most people don’t like change and many of us will not change our ways until we are forced to. We may be really unhappy with our lives and our food
and weight issues, yet feel no real impetus to make changes. Often, we are given some sort of wake-up call that jolts us from our slumbering, comfortable trance like existence. It may be a health crisis that finally forces us to change our ways. We might have a small stroke or heart attack, or a diagnosis of diabetes, and that finally scares us into making the necessary health changes.
Some of us want
to change and we will enroll in some sort of diet, weight loss, or fitness program and attempt to make changes. Even when we are willing to make changes, we have to be prepared for resistance to show up. Resistance is a natural part of the change process.
For many of us, it’s anxiety provoking to attempt to change long entrenched ways of doing things. On a cellular level we feel threatened. Humans are
hardwired to resist change. It’s a survival instinct. It’s the reptilian “cave man” part of our brain going into a flight or fight response.
Some of us are more threatened by change than others. Some people have a rigid, perfectionistic personality style with underlying anxiety issues. Change is very hard for this unbending type of personality. They are very routine bound and when this routine changes,
they can become quite anxious. They will stubbornly hold onto their old ways or go through the change process bucking and kicking. They expect perfection from themselves, and when that doesn’t happen, they often quit in frustration.
Black and white thinkers have a hard time with transitions and change. They want to go from A to Z overnight with none of the steps in between. They are very impatient, get
frustrated very easily, attempt too many changes at once, get overwhelmed, expect quick results, get frustrated when it doesn’t happen, or they hit a setback, and then quit. They have a start…stop…start…stop pattern, never getting very far in their weight loss efforts.
Some people are afraid of losing themselves in the process of change. They’re afraid they won’t know who they are without the
identity and problem of being overweight. Even though they don’t like being overweight, they like the comfort and safety their overeating and weight problem gives them.
They have a fear that they might not be able to handle new circumstances, roles, expectations, and being the focus of unwanted attention. They sabotage and resist changing to keep themselves safe from facing their fears.
The best way to work with all these issues is to make slow, gradual changes. If change is gradual, it gives us time to adjust to the changes, and it keeps our discomfort and anxiety at a manageable level, which reduces resistance.
The best way is to change only one or two small things until we have adjusted to those, and then add one or two more. This makes change very manageable. Slow, gradual changes are also
more likely to become permanent changes because they have time to be fully integrated into our being.
Life is change. To resist change is to resist life. Embrace life!
5 Tips to Handle Resistance to
Change
• When you notice you are in a state of existence, acknowledging it will soften it. Greet it with, “Yes, resistance, I see you are here for a visit.” Struggling against it makes it worse.
• Accept that resistance is a natural and temporary part of the change process and you will move through it quicker. Be kind,
encouraging, and gentle with yourself. Repeat often: This too shall pass.
• Feel the fear or resistance; accept it; take a few deep breaths, and move forward with your plan anyway! The quickest way to alleviate fear and anxiety is through taking action!
• Remind yourself of other times that you were afraid of change, and yet did it and
realized you had blown it way out of proportion.
• Tell yourself you will do whatever you’re resisting for 10 minutes. After that, you’ll probably do more. You can also dangle a carrot (reward) afterwards for doing the desired behavior.
