It had long since come to my
attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.
~ Leonardo Da Vinci
Some of us experience life as passive
observers. Life happens to us. We have what psychologists call an external locus of control. That is, we perceive our lives as being controlled by external events that are outside of our control.
People with an external locus of control tend to view themselves as victims of life. They are passive and quick to
blame circumstances or other people for their problems. They give up quickly at the slightest obstacle or setback because they feel their actions have little impact on the outcome of their lives. They are basically resigned to their fate, which they feel is out of their hands.
If you have this passive life orientation,
it can leave you feeling anxious, overwhelmed, vulnerable to depression, overeating, and addiction, highly reactive, and at the mercy of other people. It can also leave you feeling trapped by circumstances, as you cannot see or act on other choices and options that may be available to you. This learned helplessness may have its origins in your childhood, where you felt helpless to change or have much positive impact on our environment.
Now, in your adult life you’re still acting as if you have no power to positively impact your life.
People with an internal locus of control are active participants in their lives. They view themselves
as the master of their fates or destiny. They feel in control of their futures and therefore are proactive and motivated to take action. They are willing to make sacrifices and put in the effort to make things happen. They’re persistent because they know that their actions will eventually bring them the success they seek. They make their own luck in life. They are generally more happy, successful, healthy, and optimistic than their passive counterparts.
So how can you begin to develop a more internal locus of control?
The first step is awareness. You begin to freely create your world when you become aware of your power of
choice. Instead of automatically responding to a stimulus - a person, food, situation, or feeling - practice pausing, reflect on your options, choose your response, then act. You may not be able to change our circumstances, but you do have power over how you react to them – and the response you choose, powerfully affects your circumstances – often for the better.
Here are 5 ways you can move from victim to being victorious in your life.
- Stop blaming outside circumstances and get willing to take more risks and move forward.
- Look for opportunities to make changes.
- Take small steps towards the things you desire, instead of waiting for them to magically appear or happen to you, or waiting until you feel
ready or confident to undertake them. Confidence comes from the actual doing.
- Actively seek out new stimulating situations or people, instead of complaining about the dreary state of your life.
- Begin to ask for help and seek out solutions to problems that have eluded you.
Too much information, overthinking, and overanalyzing can keep you stuck for years. Many
people prefer to collect information and analyze, talk about, and obsess over their weight issue than to take action. Unfortunately, you can't think or talk your way to weight loss.
Insight without action is worthless. Unless you put your insights and knowledge into practice, they have no power to transform your life.
If you’re the type who has an entire library full of diet, nutrition, and weight loss books but have yet to take action, or you tend to skip from program to program, it's time to focus more on sustained, consistent action so that you can see some long term results.
Is life happening to me? Or am I taking action to
make things happen?
