{ Article} How to Move Beyond Black and White Thinking
Published: Tue, 03/08/16
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Hello ,
Are you a black and white, all or nothing thinker? Are you either overeating or on a diet?
Black and white thinking is one of the biggest barriers to weight loss. Black and white thinking (all or nothing) is a distorted, polarized, split way of thinking that prevents people from viewing
reality as it really is. Nothing or no one is all good or all bad, weak or strong.
Black and white thinkers don’t see the gray; the in between place where reality resides. Reality comes in fifty shades of gray; it’s full of what ifs, contradictions, ambiguities, or maybes.
No one is perfect; everyone is a mixed bag of weaknesses and strengths. No situation is all good or all bad. Unfortunately, because black and white thinkers think in extremes, their moods can be extreme as well. One minute they’re flying high on elation over an event, situation, diet, or person they deem “perfect” or “great” only to hit the depths of despair when they make a mistake or find a flaw in the same thing. Then it’s
“ruined,” “bad,” or “not good enough.”
If you’re a black and white thinker, your life is probably run by a lot of shoulds, musts, and oughts. It’s based on rules made up by your mind, instead of reality. Black and white thinkers usually only see two options; and often, neither option is appealing, so they do
nothing. “If I can’t follow my food plan to the letter, I might as well not do it all.” This type of thinking keeps you stuck because the gray zone of other possibilities is missing.
Reality is full of possibilities and there are always more options and choices than you’re aware of. A black and white mind has a very
narrow way of looking at things; it’s often focused on faults, problems, and is very judgmental because things are either “right” or “wrong.” An open mind is flexible. It’s always looking for new solutions and new ways of looking at things.
If you’re a black and white thinker, ask yourself, “What other options/ways are
there of looking at this?”
If you can’t see other options, ask someone else for their perspective or ask yourself, “How would so and so view this situation? What would they do?”
Black and white thinkers are drawn to diets because they like things to be spelled out in a simple way they can follow. There’s no ambiguity. It’s black and white – follow this diet to the letter. Unfortunately, life is not black and white. As soon as they’re thrown off course, which is
the reality of life, they don’t know what to do except go to the other extreme and overeat.
They label themselves to be “bad” for getting off track, the diet to be “blown,” and the resultant guilt sends them into a downward spiral leading everything to be labeled as “ruined” and labeling themselves as “losers.”
It’s not the actual event that’s so devastating; it’s all that negative labeling that destroys one’s self-esteem and mood. Talk about a motivation killer!
If you recognize yourself in the above description, you need to ditch the “If I can’t follow it perfectly, it’s ruined, and therefore I’ll eat all I want” mentality.
The key is to do what you can each
day. Learn to see that all your efforts are worthwhile and they add up over time. Every good thing you do for yourself is practice and practice makes perfect (almost).
See every positive behavior as a deposit in a savings account that will eventually yield the long term results you’re looking for (long term behavior change). If you’re only focused on pounds lost, you’re missing the boat. The weight you’ll eventually lose and maintain
is the result of your willingness to practice new behaviors. No practice is ever wasted; no day is ever ruined, unless you label it so.
Real life is beyond labels, beyond black and white.
You must embrace the fifty shades of gray to find the peace, happiness, and weight loss you deserve.
Gray is
good.
Gray is what life is.
The gray zone is where peace with food can be found.
Ready to move into the gray zone of new possibilities?
P. S. If you're ready to move beyond
black and white thinking and other thinking distortions, you have two options. My group coaching program teaches how to move beyond black and white thinking, perfectionism and other thinking distortions. To read more about the program and to sign up click
here.
Or you can work one on one with me. I offer a free consultation.Contact Me!How you do food is how you do life! ®
The How You do Food
is How You do Life Group Coaching Program (formerly known as The Weight Loss Masters Club) is a 3 month, 6 session, every other week, mindfulness based, non-diet weight loss and emotional eating coaching program that will get you on the path to success. By the time you’re done, you’ll be feeling more confident about your ability to lose weight and keep it off (without dieting), feel more at peace and in control of your relationship with food and your life, know how to deal with
obstacles and setbacks, and feel nurtured instead of deprived.
Sign up before March 10th and receive a free full hour private coaching session with me!
This is a $150 value. Having this session will
personalize the information in the course to your own needs and you will come away with strategies to release blocks and move forward.
