Hi ,

At its very core, I believe emotional eating is ultimately a spiritual problem. It's a symptom of the modern malaise that plagues the United States and other highly developed nations. The daily grind of living in a capitalistic culture slowly deadens our aliveness. Most of us are too busy and highly distracted and because of this, we don't engage in enough self-care, and we suffer a disconnect from ourselves. To cope, we turn to food to get through our days.

Seth Godin once said, “Instead of wondering when our next vacation is we should set up a life we don't need to escape from.” I agree with this statement. It's one of the reasons why I chose to be a coach. It allows me to set my hours, work from home, and take time off when needed. 

I often call emotional eaters "the great escape artists." Turning to food is a way of escaping uncomfortable feelings, situations, and moments. It is a way of making the intolerable tolerable. Unfortunately, there is a cost of escaping discomfort. When we choose to escape discomfort through food and other forms of escape, we never really learn how to cope constructively with discomfort. Using food as a means to cope, just adds another problem: unwanted pounds and all the negative emotions that go with it.

In psychology, there is a term called "distress tolerance." Here is the definition from positivepsycology.com: "A person's ability to manage an emotional incident without feeling overwhelmed is called distress tolerance (Linehan, 2014). Being able to handle difficult emotions can help a person more quickly return to a state of equilibrium when new stressors arise (Chapman, Gratz, & Tull, 2011)."

Most emotional eaters do not know how to tolerate distressing emotions without turning to food. They often lack self-soothing skills. There are a set of techniques used in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy that can increase our distress tolerance. One of the most important is to have a set of activities that you can engage in that can calm you during distressing episodes. 

My go-to's are soothing music, prayer, going for walks, distracting myself by reading, chanting, and hugging and rocking myself while telling myself, "This too shall pass." Your list may be different. It's important to experiment with different things until you find things you're comfortable with. 

It's important to regularly practice these things so that when you become upset or distressed, you are in the habit of using these things. Instead of pushing uncomfortable feelings away, practice sitting with uncomfortable emotions for short periods. This will help increase your distress tolerance. You will realize they are not going to swallow you alive, you can survive them. 

A good mantra to embrace is "What I can feel, I can heal." An important life truth is that you can run from your feelings, but you can't hide. They will show up in other, often destructive ways in your life, for example, overeating, excess shopping, anger, anxiety, depression, and substance abuse. 

As you begin to practice distress tolerance, you will realize that you're much stronger 

than you've given yourself credit for. This newfound awareness and courage can give you the boost to make even bigger changes in your life. How you do food is how you do life!

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