Hi ,

We’ve all been around middle-aged people who have the boundaries of an eighteen-month-old. They have tantrums or sulk when others set limits on them, or they simply fold and comply with others just to keep the peace.

― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When To Say Yes, How to Say No

We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.

― Henry Cloud

Having boundaries allows us to know where we end and other people begin. A boundary helps us define acceptable behavior for ourselves and for others. Good boundaries protect us and keep us from harm. 

Many people who overeat have poor boundaries. Because of this, they can also be codependents, people pleasers, and doormats. They are prone to excessive caretaking and have trouble saying no. They also have trouble setting limits around food and in other areas of their lives. It’s a good example of “how you do food is how you do life.”

Boundaries and limits around food are essential to weight loss. One of the hardest truths an overeater has to accept is that they cannot eat everything they want, when they want it, in the amounts they want. When they can accept this fact, they are well on their way to accepting limits and boundaries around food.